Happiness
by Sakura987
Summary: She didn't know how to love nor how to be happy. He wondered what happiness is. One shot. BlackJackxPinoko


**Disclaimer: Tezuka Osamu**

Happiness

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She only learned how to hate for the past eighteen years of her life. She didn't know how to love or how to be happy. She was unwanted. Her sister despised her. Her 'parents' tried their very best, in every way, to get rid of her.

She knew 'love'. She knew 'sad'. She knew feelings people could have. She felt them from her sister. She could read her mind. She knew that the sky is blue, the cloud is white, and the moon is beautiful at night.

She longed to see them.

She wanted to see the world with her own eyes.

But she knew that it was impossible.

The time for her to die had come. Her parents brought her sister to all hospital in Japan, trying to get rid of her.

But she didn't want to die.

She wanted to live. She didn't care if she had to stay inside her sister's body forever. She thought it was her destiny to live and die without seeing the world. It was until one day when they brought her sister to the infamous unlicensed doctor, Black Jack.

* * *

The feelings that came to her after she was saved were confusing.

She could feel the air, the soft sheet she lied on.

She could hear.

And she saw lots of color.

"Can you see?"

She blinked, tried to focus.

Whose voice was that? She heard that voice before.

"As we promised, I won't kill you. You have been reborn."

She regained her focus. She stared at the man in front of her. Scared face, sharp eyes, different color of hair… She saw him before, from her sister's eyes. "Yes. This is the world." He smiled.

_The world._

She could finally see the world.

* * *

"From now on, your name will be Pinoko."

She stared blankly at the doctor.

_Name?_

"Pi-no-ko." He repeated, slower this time. He wondered why she stared at him like that.

_Pinoko. Pinoko._ A smile escaped from her lips. She liked it. "Ihh… oohh…" She tried to pronounce her name. Her first name.

"That's right. Pinoko." Black Jack held her tiny hand, smiling at her.

That was the first time she felt happy.

* * *

The rehabilitation was killing her. She had this strong urge to cry whenever her knees bumped on to the floor. It was painful. And not even once Black Jack tried to help her. She hated it.

"Stand up." He said. His eyes were cold, piercing into hers.

She wondered if he would smile to her again. She wanted him to smile. She loved his smile.

"C-chencei…"

Black Jack stared at her opened lips. "What did you say?"

"Chen…" She took a step forward. And another one. Her hands were no longer stuck on the wall. She took a deep breath and started to walk slowly, balancing her both arms. Black Jack's eyes widen when her tiny palm touched his knees. "Chheenn… cheeeii! Chencei! Bwaak Jak chencei!"

That was her first word.

And she was rewarded with his smile.

* * *

"Pinoko, look." Black Jack pointed at the dog. "What is that?"

"Doggy!" The small red-head girl who sat on his lap replied.

"Yes, good." He patted her head. "And what is that?" He pointed at the wide ocean across the house.

"Rivee'ww!"

"It is not river. It's the ocean. Sea."

"Sea?"

"Yes." He smiled. "You can find a lot of fish over there. But you cannot go there without me. Understand?"

"Aye aye, chencei!" She grinned widely. He sighed.

"It's sensei! Try it, sen-sei."

"Chencei," the stubborn girl replied. As he sighed again, she grinned. "I love you, chencei!"

He blushed and her grin widen.

* * *

It was nice to hold her, he thought. She was small. Fit in his arms. He started to get used to her clenching to his black coat, or her jumping to his arms whenever he got home.

It was nice to hear 'welcome home' whenever he opened the door, to see the food served on the table.

It was nice to have Pinoko by his side.

Sometimes, he wondered why she referred herself as his wife. He got used to that too. But to him, Pinoko was no more than a daughter. He would spank her whenever she didn't behave like a 'good girl'. He wondered if he spoiled her too much. He would buy her pretty dresses. He would even let her eat the towering-over-too-sweet parfait every day. He didn't show his emotion too much. Not much people could break his poker face. But Pinoko was one of them.

"Cheicei, can I ask you something?"

"What?" he peered at her from his newspaper.

"Why can't I remember about my past?" she stared at him. "The time before I see you?"

He put down his newspaper. "The operation went well, and I don't understand why your memory is lost." he frowned. "One of the possible reasons will be the memory itself. People unconsciously force themselves to forget things which bothering them. Your previous memory might be so 'unpleasant' and it forced your brain to forget it in order to protect yourself. Why are you asking this? You regret that you lost your memory?"

She shook her head. "That's 'cause I can only remember darkness." She mumbled. "And lately I had a dream, somebody kept calling me monster… and she hated me so much… Is she my sister? I remember about having a sister and she tried to kill me…"

Black Jack stayed silent, starring at her glossy eyes. "Even when she hated you that much, you still want to live," he smiled. "You don't remember about this part. But we made promise, that I would let you live, that I would save you. That's why you are in that body."

"Really? Then why chencei didn't make me pwettier? Why in this small body?"

"Because I found it cute."

"Chencei!"

Black Jack laughed. "Anyway, what is the dinner for tonight?"

"No dinner for chencei!"

"Okay, no longer cute now."

"CHENCEEI!"

* * *

He wondered what happiness is. He knew pain, suffering, and hatred. Pain, suffering, when his mother left him forever. Hatred towards his father who left them. Every single night he had that nightmare, where his mother's body shattered into pieces. He could never sleep in peace. That was what he thought.

"Chenceeii…"

He put down his medical book and stared at the small little girl clenching her pink blanket in front of his door.

"Can I sweep with you? There is monstew in my room," she sobbed.

_Monster?_

Black Jack couldn't hold his smile. "That's why I told you not to watch that movie." He stretched his arms. Pinoko sobbed again before she finally settled in his arms.

"But… but…"

"Shh," he patted her back in a slow motion, causing her to yawn. "Sleep." He ordered while switching off his study lamp.

"… night chencei…" She snuggled into his chest and finally Black Jack could hear her soft snoring. He stared at her peaceful face. Again, he wondered what Pinoko is to him. Daughter? Wife? Who?

_Screw it._

He yawned and closed his eyes. He loves Pinoko and she is his dear family. She brings happiness to him, from the moment she was born until this moment.

_What is happiness?_

If somebody going to ask that question to him, he knows what to answer.

_Pinoko is my happiness._

That was the only night where he could sleep peacefully.

* * *

**The End**

**Hope you like it :)**

**pardon me for my english. Sadly, English is not my first language.**

**Any feedback? :)**


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